A Magician Named Gob & The Leafs

Well, I will tell you this, Michael. I don't have a son --(he does)-- But if I ever do, I'm either going to take him to the cabin in the woods, or I'm going to promise to take him and then not take him. But the one thing that I will NEVER do is not tell him that I'm taking him to a cabin in the woods, and then not take him! - GOB Bluth

At one point in my life, despite the fact that I rarely watched hockey, the Toronto Maple Leafs were my favorite NHL team. I don't remember if I liked them because of NHL '94 or if I played as them in NHL '94 because I liked them. I do remember winning icing free Stanley Cups and scoring hundreds of goals with Doug Gilmore.

On Saturday night, the Capitals will be traveling to Toronto (Ol' South America way) to face those very Maple Leafs, except this time I will be rooting against the Leafs. Many of their fans are famous comedians because every comedian in the history of the world is from Canada. Most notably, Mike Myers (Not Wayne Campbell) and Will Arnett.

Both the Caps & the Leafs have lost 5 out of 6, so we will see who can try to break out of their slump tonight. The loser is probably going to be the team that Makes a Huge Mistake. So who should I root for? Yeah, the guy in the $500 suit is gonna root for the Maple Leafs instead of the Caps...Come On! Maybe Ovechkin will come out strong with a hat trick illusion. (A hat trick is something a whore does for hat money)

Leafs isn't even a thing! Why aren't they the Maple Leaves! I get it, one leaf many players, but still, grammatically annoying.

First place chick is hot, but has an attitude, doesn't date magicians. Second place is someone weird usually, like a Chinese girl or a geologist. But third place, although a little bit plain, has super low self-esteem...