Puck Bunnies & The Eskimo-Ho Network

DC Sports Nexus ---- Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Puck Bunnies:

As I was hanging out on Twitter the other day I came across some people mentioning the term "Puck Bunnies". After piecing together some context clues, I found out that a puck bunny is some kind of hockey player groupie. The key attribute that separates a puck bunny from a die hard female Caps fan is that the puck bunny knows nothing about hockey and is just looking to "get it in".

I'm assuming hockey players sometimes choose to "meet" a girl because she "got a donk", instead of a female hockey fan who has "R-E-S-P-E-C-T". That's why the regular female fans who have hockey knowledge want to smash the bunnies over the head with a shovel.

I honestly didn't even put the words "hockey" and "groupie" together before this week. This came up because of this Tumblr site, where puck bunnies submit some of their "Dirty Hockey Secrets". It's pretty NSFW language wise...Edited Example:

NBA Groupies:

I love NBA groupies...well I love to make fun of them. You can spot those girls from the upper deck. They are dressed in the official skank's uniform; a short skirt, 10 inch heels, a shirt with little cleavage coverage, no underwear, and usually some silly hat on. They don't even know what travelling means, yet they are at every game. If 5% of them get lucky, you will see them on the Real Housewives of DC someday soon.

If you love groupies like I do, you will love this website. It is Talk-Sports.net and it is your one stop shop for news on NBA players. Well, let me be more specific. It is your one stop shop for RUMORS on NBA players pertaining to their wives, girlfriends, baby-mommas, f-buddies, mistresses, groupies, etc. Here is a rumor about Michael Beasley, the first player I clicked on:

"So i heard he had a girl wen he meet the Bm and the BM got pregant on the frist night.He had 2 kids at the time when he found out the lil boy wasnt his he focused more on her daughter and spent more time with them."

I even suspect that the NBA players have their own eskimo brother network where they tell players on other teams which groupies to hang out in which cities. The groupies also have their own Eski-ho network where they tell their friends which NBA players are DTF.


The NBA and NHL cultures are totally different. However "men are men" so the groupie phenomenon must exist at some level in the NHL right? Am I missing any hockey rumor sites? Am I missing any secret groupie networks? Am I missing any of these NBA dressed women at Caps games? What is the line between obsessed female fan & puck bunny? What are the NBA groupies are doing now that they are locked out, working at Regency furniture? Are their any Caps Basketball groupies out there? Where's the beef?

Comments from the ladies please...

1 comment:

galaxysong9 said...

sigh... the TalkSports thing exists for hockey as well, it's why google instant comes up with "x player girlfriend" as the third suggestion. If you want to know more about puck bunnies, check out Psycho Lady Hockey and her blog.

If I were to make an arbitrary guideline, I would say that understanding icing is the puck bunny cutoff. Then again icing is pretty complicated. Maybe knowing who the ugly/bad players are? A puck bunny isn't going to give a shit about Tom Poti.

My view is, if Nick Bäckström buys me a drink, that's great. But I'm not going to go after a player just to bang a player. And I generally wear a jersey (not a girl fitted or pink one), which is really hard to skank up.

Post a Comment