The Legend That Inspired The NHL

I was bored, so this is what you get...

Once upon a time there was a Canadian warrior by the name of Canuck. He was fierce like a Shark attacking a group of swimming Penguins, he had the courage and honor of a Texas Ranger chasing down a fugitive, and he had the work ethic and determination of a rugged Oiler in the Arctic Ocean wiping black splotches of of his Blue Jacket at the end of a long day. But how did he reach that level of legend?

He was born in the midst of a Hurricane and his mother died as she was struck by a luminous blast of Lightning just hours after giving birth. At the age of five a Panther mauled his father and the boy was left all alone to fend for himself in the Wild.

Each day he would eat whatever he could find; grass, plants, and even insects. Along the way he fashioned himself a poor excuse for a sword out of stone and wood. He walked around chasing birds and Ducks but he was unable to ever catch anything. He often looked like a fool swinging and missing as the tiny Red Wings of cardinals flapped to safety and he spent most of his hunt cursing in frustration at Black Hawks as the majestic Flyers soared away from his empty grasp.

Days after a string of unsuccessful hunts, the boy collapsed to the ground and his world started to fade away. Right on the edge of the Devil’s doorstep, the boy took what he thought would be his last look at the world. As his eyes grew heavy he saw a giant bear boring down on him with the power of an Avalanche. He closed his eyes, lunged his collapsed body towards the approaching Bruin, and jammed his makeshift Sabre forward with all his might. The moment he almost died turned out to be the moment he began to live.

Each passing day he got stronger and stronger and soon he set a course for the warm weather of the Pacific coast. He would spend his days avoiding Predators and hunting Coyotes to survive. Each evening he would collect pine needles, Maple Leafs, and other types of kindling so he could have a warm fire when the sun went down and cook the kill of the day. Each night he would feast by the Flames and stare at the Stars, dreaming he would one day see the beautiful whites of the tide and the sparkling aqua Blues of the ocean that his father spoke of when he was a child.

After an amazing and inspired journey that was too powerful be transcribed, Canuck reached the ocean. No longer a boy, along the way he had become a warrior. He looked at this new beast , the massive body of water, the same way an isolated Islander would stare at a Jet flying across the sky. He jumped up and down in the air in celebration and fell down to his knees and kissed the ground. While he knew nothing of government, Capital cities, Senators, Monarchs, or law, at that moment the brave new man was the King of the world.