What Is Lightning? Caps @ Lightning

Tonight the Caps are playing the Lightning for about the 300th time this season.  A 7:30 start time.  I've written everything I can think of about the hockey team, so it is time to get really deep and basic at the same time.  What is lightning?  I am going to explain it, without looking it up..

Lightning was discovered by Ben Franklin when he put his kite in the air with a key and a mouse on it.  When the lightning hit the kite he was shocked by the key and Ben knew that it was electric (boogie oogie oogie).  But what caused this strange phenomenon.  Was it grandmaster flash...wait you don't get it...ok was it LL Cool J?  Ok if you still don't get it.  Was it John Travolta?  Ug you still don't get it.  Young people...

I think it is probably caused by static electricity or weather or something.  What the hell am I doing.  This is boring.  Wiki says lightning is a discharge followed by a thundering noise...Entire rest of this paragraph deleted due to being too gross...

In conclusion, the Caps play the Lightning tonight.  If they Caps are gonna win they are gonna have to discharge some pucks into the net which will be followed by the thundering sound of the zamboni horn and sirens or whatever happens when a goal is scored.  Lets win this one for Ben Franklin!

See what I did there!  Writing! (John Luvitz)  Enjoy this picture of what will happen tonight...