Dull Skates & A Tale Of Two Skate Sharpeners

DC Sports Nexus ---- Wednesday, October 26, 2011

A few games ago one of the Caps players kept falling on the ice. The announcers were saying that the player was not in fact drunk, but that the problem came from some faulty equipment. Well, it was less faulty equipment and more "non-sharp skates". As someone who went ice skating once, and knows nothing about skating equipment, I had no idea that dull skates would be a problem in the NHL.

When I was in high school, according to the PA announcer, I made the game saving tackle to take us to the championship game in football (Where we beat Dematha!). In reality, my "non-sharp" worn out cleats caused me to slip and I missed the guy. But that was in high school where the trainer would tell us to "tape it up" and take Advil if it was a stubbed toe or a broken arm. (We wouldn't sit out a whole season from a concussion). We used duct tape to fix our faulty equipment. In a professional league I would think they would have some better equipment checks, and good grief they do!

I understand that equipment malfunctions can happen even in the pros. Football Players split their pants, baseball bats break, and even backboards get shattered. Sharpening skates must be like basketball players walking on that mat to clean their shoe bottoms? I'm guessing this because the announcer said there was a portable skate sharpener on the bench.
This beauty is only $4,000! I don't ever ice skate, but I want one for the kitchen. It's gotta be better than the Samurai Shark Knife Sharpener I bought at the As Seen on TV Store for $20. This baby can be used to sharpen skates quickly and without the hassle of walking back to the locker room. But if this sweet thang is on the bench, then can you imagine the machine in the locker room!? That thing could probably sharpen 1,000 knives! (Wait for it...)
Did I say 1,000 knives. With this triple cutting technology I meant to say 3,000 knives. Oh hell yeah! Who needs a new car when you can spend $22,000 on this baby! Dual Cyclone Exhaust, 4" Swivel Casters, & Center Head Cross Grind. I think I'm in love...

So what did I learn today? I learned that ice skates require sharpening to work well. NHL players don't just grab the skates out of the cubbies that are 1 size above or below their actual shoe size. In order to keep their skates sharp, there is some sweet manly equipment that can be used right inside the arena, or even on the bench. So next time you see a player fall, you know they probably didn't shell out the dough for the Stealth Triple Head Skate Sharpener.

1 comment:

Dustin said...

Sharpening skates is a real crap job. Everyone likes them different. I used to work in a hockey shop and I put off learning to do it as long as possible. Eventually I had to, and was always worried some guy would come in and sue us after his five year old fell down on some badly sharpened skates.

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