According to The Examiner, Mikey Neuvirth missed practice today and is listed as day to day with a "lower body injury". My first thought was to assumethat "lower body" meant his junk since it was so vague, but I was told that was not necessarily the case.
Now I am no doctor/scientist/mortician, but I do have a lower body of my own. So I decided to do some real reporting, and look at my lower body to find out just what it consisted of. What I found was shocking!
I discovered that my lower body consisted of several different parts. There were legs, feet, even like 20 toes! My lower body had bones, joints, muscles, and even tendons. It was like I was Christopher Columbus discovering the new world. A knee, where did that come from. What is that round thing at the back of my foot, why it appears to be a heel! Wow look at that 8 inch thing, never realized my big toe was that long.
Note: Hands only count as a lower body injury if you have them by your side
Recalling that I know nothing about hockey injury reports, I decided to see what this lower body injury really was. I assume that Neuvirth didn't injure his ENTIRE lower body. I saw this interesting tweet come up on my computer
Cool dog. So I will assume henceforth that this is a common thing.
By that logic the following injury to NBA player Shaun Livingston (Don't watch, it will make you sick) is equivalent to Gilbert Arenas stubbing his toe, losing a toenail and missing a game. Two "lower body" injuries.
At least they said he was Day to Day with a lower body injury, which narrows it down to about 2,968 possible injuries. In conclusion hockey, get rid of "lower body" on the injury report. Also never say "body injury" "human injury" "mammal injury" or anything else as pointlessly vague...