Hockey Has Kidnapped My Girlfriend: A Look At The Lockout By Someone Not Yet In Love

DC Sports Nexus ---- Tuesday, December 11, 2012

After a few months of watching hockey, with the help of readers and individual research, I started to pick up on how the NHL worked, and what this crazy game of hockey is all about.  Now, I'm an expert on lower body injuries, trapezoids, which Staal's is which, and what a Roman Hamrlik is (its a person, not a wrestling finishing move).

The more hockey I watch, the farther away I move from the origins of this blog, which was showing hockey fans how a non hockey fan interpreted the game.  However, something new has happened for the 2012-13 season.  The Lockout!

I am no stranger to lockouts.  This site was created because the NBA had a lockout last season.  But the NBA came back, and fans forgot the lockout even existed.  By Christmas Day I was watching the Wizards airball foul shots.  It was glorious!

As a Wizards fan, I didn't really need to keep entertained by personifying podiums, watching Russians & Fins, or by selling out minor league games.  We sort of needed a break from the team.  Plus the Caps picked up the slack.

But with the teams in a reversal of roles, the situation is clearly different.  The Caps made it to the second round of the playoffs last year, and fans were itching to get started with the following season to see how the team would respond under it's 3rd coach in 2 seasons.

And now, Christmas is around the corner, and it appears that Sasha Claus will not be delivering NHL hockey for Capsmas this year.  This is a crushing blow to hockey fans, but being a fan for one season,  it hasn't affected me to the point of anger & despair that other hockey fans have expressed.  I miss watching the Caps, but I can't say I know how you are feeling, because I don't.

And this is the second time in a short span of time that the entire hockey season may be cancelled?  What a dagger to the fans. After the MLB strike when I was a kid, I stopped following baseball for years.  While long-time hockey fans may not have that same reaction, what about the younger fans, who, like me, have not had enough time with the game to fall in complete head over heels love?

If I date a girl for a week, and then don't see her for a few weeks, I may forget about her.  But If I dated that girl for several years and she is gone, I might have a hard time coping.  Basically, it appears to me that Garry Bettman has kidnapped your long time girlfriend.  And it sucks.

And believe me, I speak from experience, you DO NOT want to have a one-night stand with the Wizards.

Unlike you, because of my short time as a fan, as each day of the lockout passes I start to forget things.  I forget the rules, I forget the players, I forget the music videos, I forget the mustaches, I even forget how to rock the Red.  You do that by wearing a blue shirt right?

Fans like myself who have only been watching a short while, who have yet to experience those magical NHL moments that will hook them forever, are the ones who's fandom will be annihilated by this Lockout.  You will watch again.  Will we?

And that is the sad part.  This lockout is really stunting a chance for people like me to get shot by the arrow of Gretzky-Cupid and develop feelings for a sport that I may never have for another human being in my lifetime.  You may get over it.  But will people like me?

Now you don't have to worry about myself in particular.  Caps fans embraced me last year and have spun me into their web of destruction.  I am now one of them.

But take a minute to think about all those other people who are going to miss out on all the laughing, crying, cursing, cheering, and honk honk honking that you experience each and every season because a stupid tiff between owners and players has crushed their hockey souls.

So I end this post with a message to Gary Bettman.  Give me back my girlfriend you son of a b***h!  I know I've only been dating her for a short while, but I kinda was digging her.  Sure she was foul mouthed and sometimes she smacked me in the face, but her missing tooth smile always melted my heart.  For every time she high-sticked me she made up for it with an assist that put me in a good mood.  It sounds kind of corny, but come to think of it, I may have been starting to fall for her...

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