The Most Beautiful Loss In The World

252 Days...

When the Washington Capitals and Tampa Bay Lightning dropped the puck on Saturday night, it was a few hours over 252 days since the Caps faced off against the New York Rangers in their final period of action back in May of 2012.  Since that time the Caps were eliminated from the playoffs, an 8th seed won the Cup, a season was almost cancelled, and earlier in the day, the NHL made its "triumphant" return.

And that is what makes this scene so beautiful.  Caps fans were expecting to take that game 7 against the Rangers at the end of last season and when it didn't happen their mouths began to water as we awaited the next season to begin.  Both the players and the fans were hoping the season started the next day.  Instead the lockout happened and it didn't even happen as regularly scheduled.

Lockout Quick Hits: Nicklas Backstrom

What were the Caps players doing over the lockout?  DOMINATING no doubt...

Good News.  Nick Backstrom saw a specialist and found out his head is good to go for the upcoming season.  Let's see how he got to that point and what he did during the Lockout:

Other Caps Lockout Quck Hits Videos:

• Alexander Ovechkin
• Braden Holtby

Lockout Quick Hits: Braden Holtby

What were the Caps players doing over the lockout?  DOMINATING no doubt...

Let's take a look at what Braden Holtby was doing up in Hershey with the Bears of the AHL this lockout:

Other Caps Lockout Quck Hits Videos:

• Other Caps Lockout Quck Hits Videos:
  • Alexander Ovechkin
  • Nicklas Backstrom

Conan O'Brien Crushes The NHL & Hockey Fans In Monologues This Week

I love Conan O'Brien.  He is one of my favorite performers of all time and I have watched him since he started on TV a million years ago.  But this week Coco has decided to take a few shots at hockey fans on his show.   Here are some jokes from his monologue on Monday & Tuesday:

"Good news, after 113 days the National Hockey League has settled it's hockey dispute, so finally Americans can get back to NOT watching hockey"

The crowd sort of laughs. (watch it here) Conan continues:

"Nobody watches hockey...(in strange mocking voice)...'I gotta go I gotta watch hockey'...nobody says that...hahahhahaha"

The jokes didn't stop on Tuesday:

"Good news for hockey though, after 113 days the National Hockey League has settled it's contract dispute...by the way if you are interested, the last time Americans went 113 days without watching hockey it was during last year's hockey season"

There were a few hockey fans in the crowd who groaned.  Conan continued:

"Even hockey fans cheer that joke...'it is very unpopular'...No Teeth...'it's unpopular (in a voice like he had no teeth)' "

So Americans hate hockey, and all hockey fans have no teeth.  Got it Conan.  Look forward to your next prewritten structured NHL zing that the audience doesn't really laugh at tomorrow night.

Lockout Thing Over, What is Hockey Again?

According to my sources (major media, Twitter, everyone, and their mother) the NHL Lockout has come to an end.  At least until the next time the CBA comes up and the players and owners decided that relaxing and enjoying the NFL season is more fun than playing hockey.

Unfortunately my blog, Caps Cricket, never really gained as much steam as this site did during the NBA lockout (I blame the Puck Buddies and Indian Paddles Never Breaks).  But I have promised all my bowlers and hurlers that I will not give up on them either.  The NHL lockout is over, but I will be a cricket fan for life.

Last year, when the NBA came back from their lockout, it was the greatest season of basketball ever.  They crammed 66 games into a few months, and there were Wizards games to watch it seemed every day (yes that was a good thing, sort of).  At that point we also had Caps games, so it was pretty much a busy winter.  I'm down...

It appears that the NHL will also have to do a little cramming, and it should lead to an amazing winter.  Although if I remember correctly the NHL season lasts throughout the summer and they play the Stanley Cup Finals on water.

The worst part about the lockout was that I basically forgot how hockey works, all the terms, all the players, and I probably can't name all the teams.  That should lead to another fun season of people re-teaching me about the sport, and yelling at me about Mike Knuble, who if I remember correctly isn't even on the team.

So I look forward to finally getting started on my second season as a hockey fan and I look forward to hearing from you guys about what I am getting wrong.  This season we may even provide you with some analysis greater than "That guy with the pads and mask shouldn't have let the puck go past him into that net thing".

Ovechwho? ... wait a minute ... it's all coming back to me...

Haiku Lockout

Written By Saleena Andrea

So, here we are: day 103 of the lockout.  There’s not much I can say that hasn’t been said in a variety of ways:  thoughtful point/counterpoint blog posts, insightful interviews with key players, poorly translated recaps of foreign interviews guaranteed to inflame already weary fans.  

As I read yet another prediction about yet another meaningless potential deadline, I reflect on two things hockey fans need right now:  tranquil Japanese wisdom and a new way to talk about what we’ve been talking about for 103 days already.  Therefore, I submit my feelings about the lockout…in haiku.

You all make money

Doing what lots of us would

Give anything for

Your fans are loyal

You assume we will come back

You are not afraid

Taking for granted

Know you have us by the balls

Now I am pissed off

Other sports did this

None lost entire season

Selfish freaking pricks

When you come back you

Will still charge 80 bucks for

The nosebleed level

It is not our fault

That you put a hockey team

In the damn desert

Your fans must suffer

Because you did not know that

Miami is HOT!

The sad truth is that

When this goat rodeo ends

I will still buy seats

But I swear to God

No more will I pay 10 bucks

For your lukewarm swill

We must try to help

The local places, victims

Of your petty shit

Curse you Sir Bettman

You money grubbing miser

You don’t care for us!

But Ovi, for real?

Am I supposed to think that

You don’t make enough?

Without hockey I

Remember how much I hate

Winter in this place

Gary Bettman Got Run Over By A Reindeer

For your Christmas enjoyment!  A song about the awful Gary Bettman, commissioner of the NHL who has made it his mission to deprive us of hockey this holiday season.  The lockout is terrible and there is nothing much to do but sit and wait and hope.

While you are passing the time this holiday season, sing along to this parody of Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer!  Thank goodness this Reindeer stepped up and saved the day!!!

Caps Fans Ceremonial Verizon Center Puck Drop

Just found this footage laying around.  It was taken back in October on what was supposed to be the Washington Capitals home opener game against the New Jersey Devils.  Despite the fact that the NHL Lockout had cancelled the game, these fans got together and met up at Verizon Center to mourn the loss of hockey with a ceremonial puck drop.

Hard to imagine that it is two months later and there is still no hockey.

Hockey Has Kidnapped My Girlfriend: A Look At The Lockout By Someone Not Yet In Love

After a few months of watching hockey, with the help of readers and individual research, I started to pick up on how the NHL worked, and what this crazy game of hockey is all about.  Now, I'm an expert on lower body injuries, trapezoids, which Staal's is which, and what a Roman Hamrlik is (its a person, not a wrestling finishing move).

The more hockey I watch, the farther away I move from the origins of this blog, which was showing hockey fans how a non hockey fan interpreted the game.  However, something new has happened for the 2012-13 season.  The Lockout!

I am no stranger to lockouts.  This site was created because the NBA had a lockout last season.  But the NBA came back, and fans forgot the lockout even existed.  By Christmas Day I was watching the Wizards airball foul shots.  It was glorious!

As a Wizards fan, I didn't really need to keep entertained by personifying podiums, watching Russians & Fins, or by selling out minor league games.  We sort of needed a break from the team.  Plus the Caps picked up the slack.

But with the teams in a reversal of roles, the situation is clearly different.  The Caps made it to the second round of the playoffs last year, and fans were itching to get started with the following season to see how the team would respond under it's 3rd coach in 2 seasons.

And now, Christmas is around the corner, and it appears that Sasha Claus will not be delivering NHL hockey for Capsmas this year.  This is a crushing blow to hockey fans, but being a fan for one season,  it hasn't affected me to the point of anger & despair that other hockey fans have expressed.  I miss watching the Caps, but I can't say I know how you are feeling, because I don't.

And this is the second time in a short span of time that the entire hockey season may be cancelled?  What a dagger to the fans. After the MLB strike when I was a kid, I stopped following baseball for years.  While long-time hockey fans may not have that same reaction, what about the younger fans, who, like me, have not had enough time with the game to fall in complete head over heels love?

If I date a girl for a week, and then don't see her for a few weeks, I may forget about her.  But If I dated that girl for several years and she is gone, I might have a hard time coping.  Basically, it appears to me that Garry Bettman has kidnapped your long time girlfriend.  And it sucks.

And believe me, I speak from experience, you DO NOT want to have a one-night stand with the Wizards.

Unlike you, because of my short time as a fan, as each day of the lockout passes I start to forget things.  I forget the rules, I forget the players, I forget the music videos, I forget the mustaches, I even forget how to rock the Red.  You do that by wearing a blue shirt right?

Fans like myself who have only been watching a short while, who have yet to experience those magical NHL moments that will hook them forever, are the ones who's fandom will be annihilated by this Lockout.  You will watch again.  Will we?

And that is the sad part.  This lockout is really stunting a chance for people like me to get shot by the arrow of Gretzky-Cupid and develop feelings for a sport that I may never have for another human being in my lifetime.  You may get over it.  But will people like me?

Now you don't have to worry about myself in particular.  Caps fans embraced me last year and have spun me into their web of destruction.  I am now one of them.

But take a minute to think about all those other people who are going to miss out on all the laughing, crying, cursing, cheering, and honk honk honking that you experience each and every season because a stupid tiff between owners and players has crushed their hockey souls.

So I end this post with a message to Gary Bettman.  Give me back my girlfriend you son of a b***h!  I know I've only been dating her for a short while, but I kinda was digging her.  Sure she was foul mouthed and sometimes she smacked me in the face, but her missing tooth smile always melted my heart.  For every time she high-sticked me she made up for it with an assist that put me in a good mood.  It sounds kind of corny, but come to think of it, I may have been starting to fall for her...

Bad Luck Podium Meme

Here are some Pics following the meme of "Bad Luck Podium" after everyone on Twitter went crazy about the empty podium waiting for someone to announce the lockout was over.

A Touching Fan Letter To Gary Bettman From A Girl With Lyme Disease Who Needs Her Hockey

The following is a letter that was sent to me by a fan...

Dear Mr. Bettman,

My name is Brooke and I am a 20 year old avid hockey fan with Lyme disease. I am writing to tell you how this lockout is affecting my health.

Now, you may be thinking, "How does hockey have anything to do with Lyme disease?" Well, my particular case of Lyme is unique. Most of my symptoms are psychological because the Lyme bacteria have made their way into my brain. This happened presumably because I was infected with Lyme as a small child and not knowing any better, I thought that the symptoms I was experiencing were "normal" for everyone. 

Brooke Expressing How She Feels About The Lockout

As you may or may not know, Lyme can manifest itself in a multitude of ways and is often called "the great imitator" because the symptoms almost always mimic other common ailments such as the flu. As a child, I probably got "sick" and was treated for whatever the doctor assumed was ailing me. They didn't, at the time, realize that it was a tick bite that had been causing my symptoms.

Fast forward 10 years to my early teens. Lyme disease had been incubating in my body for a very long time, growing stronger and beginning to completely run my body. As a 14 year old, I was still afraid of the dark and was convinced that there were strange ghosts living in my house. Usually, kids grow out of these fears around age 8. However, my fears and delusions just became stronger and stronger until I fell into a deep depression. 

I began to harm myself...

My parents attributed this to the fact that I was a moody teenager and put me into therapy. At the same time, I was taking an antibiotic for another health issue I was having. Lyme disease, coincidentally, is treated by antibiotics. 

The Lyme was suppressed for about two years after taking the antibiotic. I got out of therapy and was okay until my senior year of high school. It came to the point where I nearly ended my life because my delusions were completely overtaking my mind. The Lyme had come back full force and was completely driving me mad. 

The only escape I had at this point was hockey...

My dad had been coaching hockey since before I was born, so I grew up in a hockey family. Although I never played, I was around NHL games on television since I was little. During my senior year of high school, just as things started going downhill, the NHL became my escape. 



I went to several games and followed the league more closely than I ever had. I may have been depressed and suicidal at times but when I was watching hockey, all of those feelings were put on the back burner. In short, hockey made me happy. 

The NHL was my antidepressant...

After a while I ended up back in therapy and by some act of God, my therapist suggested I get tested for Lyme disease.  She had a hunch that my symptoms may have been caused by a non-psychological factor. Sure enough, I had Lyme disease.

Thus began my 3+ year treatment.  I take about 20 pills a day and many of those are to offset effects by some of the other medications. I still have bouts of depression sometimes but am much more well adjusted than before.

Hockey was helping though...

At the end of last season, I was at a particularly low point. The day before Easter, I was at my grandmother's house and just could not seem to get out of the funk I was in. I remember sitting on her front porch, crying for what had to be about 3 hours, for no particular reason. I sat and wondered why I was feeling that way, but could find no actual explanation. I guess my meds were affecting me in a particular way that caused me to feel incredibly terrible. 

That night happened to be the last Caps game of the regular season, a matchup against the Rangers.  My dad came outside where I had been crying to tell me the pregame coverage had started and I should come in and watch. The instant I sat down and immersed myself in the game, I felt a million times better. I stopped crying. I stopped feeling down.  The rest of the world didn't matter to me.

My disease couldn't touch me...

That brings me to the current lockout...

Hockey was the only thing that seemed to help me rise above how I was feeling.  It sounds crazy that a sport can have such a profound effect on someone, but I ensure you it did.  

But now, with the lockout in full effect and no solution in sight, I have nothing to look forward to. Without hockey, I can't escape to another place. Without hockey, I can't get back to that mindset where the only thing that matters is what happens on the ice. Without hockey, I can't get past my disease.  

Without hockey, I'm not me...

So please Mr. Bettman.  Work with the players to get this dispute resolved.  I'm just one person with a story. There are thousands of others out there too that are just like me.  We don't want our hockey...We need our hockey.

Sincerely,

Brooke

================================

Other Fan Posts:

• Camilla - How A Typical Girl Became A Hockey Fan
• Melissa - A Farewell Letter To Alex Semin

You can follow Brooke on Twitter @CapsBN92 and If you have your own story send an email to editor@DCSportsNexus.com

The NHL Lockout Is Here, Save Our Pets!

Well the NHL Lockout is now official.  The players and the league could not work out their contract differences and now there may be cancelled games, or worse, a cancelled season.  Players are going to start heading over to play in Europe and Russia and fans are going to have to settle for watching NHL classic games on TV.

Fans are absolutely distraught.  As the lockout hit this morning fans on Twitter were going crazy.  However one group of fans has been overlooked.  The pets:

6 Cool Jobs For Hockey Players During Lockout

1. Crossing Guard (former job: coach):  A crossing guard has all the control in the world. They can tell people to stop and go.  They even have a whistle, so should be an easy transition.  Just think of it as letting people cross the street in line shifts.  Ugly people on the fourth line of street crossers...

2. Bouncer (former job: goalie):  Normally you have pucks coming at you every minute or so. Now you have drunk people coming at you every minute or so. I'm not sure which is harder to stop? A wobbling puck or a wobbling drunk? Which has more sauce? Better keep your goalie pads just in case.

3.  IT Technician (former job: defenseman):  On a typically day you are laying out to block shots.  Well there are no more shots, so you should use your skills in a constructive way.  Help some of our big corporations block spam instead.  When people are going to porn sites on their computer at work, block their access.  My IT guy at work has blocked gchat, facebook, and espn.  You can block more!  See, very similar!

4.  Nurse Practitioner (former job: forwards):  You already love shots.  You already love assists.  So why not combine the two?  As a nurse, you can administer shots to patients which assists them in getting better.  The only thing is that if you hit three shots in one day, the patients don't throw their head-wound bandages on the floor at you.

5.  Charlie Brown Movie Actor (former job: Mike Milbury):  Everything you say is "Wah wah wah wa wah wa wa wah".  That makes you perfect for the role of an adult in the new Charlie Brown movie.  All you have to do is keep yapping jibberish.

6.  Weasel Spy (former job: Pierre McGuire):  You already look like a weasel.  You already are a weasel.  Why not take advantage of that and help the world at the same time.  As a weasel spy, you will go undercover and live amongst the weasels, letting us know of their secret plans to take over the world.  Just note that the other weasels might eat you if you stick a microphone in their face and ask them stupid questions so...oh crap you are finished...

The NHL Lockout Stinks! We Need Your Help!

Hey everyone!  The "season" is fast approaching and with every new story that comes out it seams that the season may not be fast approaching.  The players and ownership are looking like the season could be pushed back (or never happen) due to a lockout.

I'm going to need your help, so if you don't want to read my hockey fan story, then skip to the bottom!

As someone who started watching hockey just last year you would think that this would not be a problem.  Just pretend last year didn't happen and go back to watching replays of Wizards losses on nights when the Caps were supposed to play.

Submitted By @slapbetcomish

However, something happened last season.  Something that can not be undone.  I became a hockey fan.

I watched every game, I lived and died with every goal and goal against.  I went to games, I wrote about games, I learned about hockey, and I even almost went ice skating once.  I even have a Caps shirt...that I bought! (I never actually bought any Wizards/Redskins/Nats shirts before).

The NBA lockout was rough.  But eventually basketball returned and by the end of the season we didn't even remember there was a lockout.  Hockey however, will not be that easy.  The local team is much better, the players play much harder, and the arena is much more full.  Plus...I'm kind of obsessed with the Caps now (see me attending every day of Caps Development Camp)

Submitted By Lindsey

What is going to happen if there is a lockout for the NHL?

Well I'm going to be quite mad.  I'm not going to start a Caps Basketball Soccer blog and cover DC United.  I'm just...not.  I want my hockey.  It is not fair.  Hockey made me like hockey and they are going to take it away!?  NO! NOOOO!  But what can I (you) do!

Submitted By @CapsBN92

HELP US!

I know that most of you who read this are feeling the same anger and frustration about possibly missing the NHL season.  In fact you are probably much more upset than me.  I'm a rookie.  So don't just sit there in your room crying and eating ice cream!  Speak up!

Send us your pictures (like the ones above) of how the lockout has affected you.  Pics of signs you made, posters, chalk boards, computer screens, or anything you feel gets across the point to the NHL players and owners that they should stop F'ing around and start signing some papers.  Pics of you crying, pics of you in the hospital, or however the lockout hurt you.

We are going to use te photos in a anti-lockout video, so send them in and get in on the fun!  Be sure to have your team jersey on when you take the pics!

Email the pics to editor@DCSportsNexus.com or TwitPic them to @TheDugsSports

THANKS YOU!

PS: If you have a picture of your pet wearing Caps stuff, send those in too!